How to Get Your Kids to Cheer for Each Other’s Wins

27 January 2025

If you're a parent with more than one child, chances are you've witnessed sibling squabbles, competition, or even jealousy. It’s natural — we've all felt envy or competitiveness at some point, right? Still, wouldn't it be amazing if, instead of feeling resentful of each other's successes, your kids were genuinely excited for one another? Well, the good news is that you can help cultivate an environment where your kids not only support each other but actively cheer for each other's wins. Want to know how? Keep reading!

Why Does Sibling Rivalry Happen?

Before diving into the how-to's, let’s take a moment to understand the “why.” It makes sense to uncover why kids feel competitive first. After all, we can’t really fix a problem without knowing what feeds it.

Sibling rivalry often stems from the desire for attention, feelings of inadequacy, or even just plain ol’ competition. Kids naturally compare themselves to their siblings, and this can lead to jealousy. Think about it: if one child gets a better grade or wins a sports trophy, the other might feel “less than.” They might even wonder, "Why didn't I do well?" or feel like they’re competing for your love or approval.

But here’s the thing — helping your children to cheer for each other isn’t about eliminating competition altogether. A little competition is healthy! It’s about fostering a supportive environment where your kids can celebrate each other’s milestones and victories, big or small.

So, how do we encourage that?

1. Set the Tone at Home

Kids mirror what they see. If you're someone who shows excitement for others' achievements, they’ll pick up on that. When they see you celebrating a friend’s promotion or a relative’s success with genuine joy, they’ll learn this behavior.

Here’s a parenting tip: Whenever something great happens to a family member or friend, make it a point to highlight it. Say things like, "Wow, isn't it incredible that Uncle Dave ran a marathon? He worked so hard!" Showing off your enthusiasm for others sets the tone.

Additionally, keep the home environment positive. Try not to compare siblings or focus on what one kid didn’t achieve compared to the other. Instead, emphasize each child’s strengths and unique qualities. Celebrate individual effort over outcomes.

Pro-Tip: Teach Kids to Say “Good Job”

Encourage them to recognize each other’s accomplishments by vocally saying, "Good job!” or, “I’m proud of you!” Even if it feels forced at first, it’ll eventually become second nature.

2. Create Team Spirit Among Siblings

Your family is a team, and in any good team, each member supports another. Cultivate that team spirit by using language and actions that emphasize unity.

For instance, you can:

- Encourage team-oriented activities where the success of one child benefits the entire family. Maybe you could initiate a family cooking night where all the kids work together to create a meal. If one succeeds in a task, the whole family celebrates the win.
- Plan group goals. Perhaps your family has a collective goal, such as saving for a vacation. If one child does extra chores or performs well in school, that progress contributes to the family’s overall achievement.
- Use team-based slogans — something like, “The Smiths stick together!” or, “We celebrate each other's wins because we are team champions!”

A team mentality can help your children understand that each person’s victory strengthens the collective unit, creating a sense of shared pride.

3. Model Active Listening and Empathy

Teaching your kids to empathize with each other might be one of the most important lessons you'll ever embed in them.

When one child achieves something great, encourage the other siblings to listen and ask questions about it. For example:

- “Wow, that’s great that you won first place! How did that feel for you?”
- “What part of the project was the most challenging?”

Asking questions shows genuine interest. When kids are actively invested in each other’s wins, they feel like part of the journey, even if they weren’t directly involved.

Teach your children to put themselves in their siblings' shoes. Instead of seeing success as something separate, they should learn to experience happiness for others. It’s like watching your favorite sports team win — you may not be on the field, but you still feel the excitement.

Empathy Building Exercises:

- Have your kids express gratitude for one another regularly. Maybe at the end of each day, they can share something positive they noticed their sibling did.
- Practice role-playing scenarios where one sibling shares exciting news, and the others ask supportive, engaged questions.

4. Celebrate Effort, Not Just Results

This one’s a game-changer! Often, we focus so much on winning that we forget to appreciate the hard work behind it. Teaching your kids to cheer for effort can shift their mindset from competition to support.

If one child has worked all week to memorize a dance routine but doesn’t win a competition, emphasize how dedicated they were and how much they’ve improved. The same goes for any sibling who’s spent hours on a school assignment or learned a new skill.

By celebrating effort, you reduce the “I didn’t win, so I failed” mentality. Plus, it fosters mutual respect because each child will start appreciating the hard work their siblings put in, regardless of the outcome.

5. Encourage Healthy Competitiveness

Healthy competition can be a beautiful thing — it pushes us to be better. However, when it turns toxic, it can become detrimental to sibling relationships.

One way to encourage healthy competition among your kids is to set personal benchmarks instead of comparing them to each other. Maybe the competition is solely against their own previous performance. For instance:

- "Wow, you ran faster than you did last week!"
- “Look at how much your reading skills have improved!”

This redirects the competition onto individual progress rather than pitting siblings against one another. It turns the journey inward, where self-improvement and hard work are the focus.

Family Competitions with a Twist:

If your family loves competition (no judgment there, it can be fun!), create games where everyone wins in different ways. Let’s say you’re holding a family board game night — you can have awards for not just the winner, but also for the “best attitude,” “best effort,” or “most encouraging player.”

In this way, even when competition is present, it doesn’t become all about winning — it’s also about how you play the game.

6. Teach Gratitude and Celebrate Shared Wins

Gratitude is a powerful emotion, and it has the ability to squash jealousy in its tracks. By fostering gratitude, your kids will learn to appreciate not just their own achievements but also the accomplishments of others.

One simple but effective way of doing this is through gratitude journaling. Each night, encourage your kids to write or share what they’re thankful for — and it doesn’t always have to be about themselves! If your son is thankful for his sister’s A+ on a test, it could demonstrate that he’s recognizing her hard work.

Also, remember to celebrate shared wins. Did one child score big in a soccer game? Great! Maybe you go out for ice cream to celebrate and invite the whole family to enjoy it together. The message here is that one person’s win can be a win for the entire family. It creates a shared experience of joy.

7. Hands-On Example: Reward Collaborative Behavior

Let’s face it: kids love rewards. While it’s essential not to overdo material incentives, rewarding behaviors that demonstrate mutual support can encourage long-term change. When one sibling helps another with homework or offers positive feedback after a recital, recognize and reward that!

Rewards don’t always have to be tangible. Sometimes a family movie night, extra time at the park, or a special shout-out at dinner can be just as motivating. The key is acknowledging the behavior you want to see more of.

Wrapping It All Up

So there you have it: seven practical, human-centered ways to get your kids to cheer for each other’s wins. The goal isn’t to eliminate natural competition or sibling rivalry entirely (that might be impossible!) but to shift the focus. By cultivating empathy, celebrating effort, fostering teamwork, and creating an environment where cheering for each other comes naturally, you’ll help your kids build lifelong habits of support and love for one another.

And, who knows? They might just surprise you with how excited they become for each other’s achievements — ranging from a soccer goal to an excellent report card or even something as simple as learning to tie their shoes.

Remember, cheering for someone else’s success doesn’t diminish your own. It adds to the collective joy and strengthens family bonds, making everyone feel like a winner.